Being an Astronaut is Bad for your Eyes

Now this story was picked up worldwide by all sorts of newspapers - I just happened to read it on 'The Australian' site.  Which begs the question: to whom exactly is this an important issue?  Of the (roughly) 7,000,000,000 people wandering around the planet, there are possibly 25 of them who may be directly affected by these findings.  Are you liable to be blasting out of the clammy embrace of the earth's orbit anytime soon?  And if so, are you planning on being  gone for long?  If the answer to both of these questions is 'yes', then you may wish to schedule a visit to Vision Express on your return, as you may (possibly) have damaged your eyes a little bit.  


Everyone else can relax.


Source:  The Australian

Cleaning the House May Rob You of Your Senses

Senses of smell and taste, that is.  Taste is mostly related to smell you see, so if you lose the first one, the second one goes too.  So try to avoid standing for too long in a small bathroom, dousing the place with pungent bleach.  This may (or may not) 'affect the delicate lining of the nose' on a permanent basis.  Probably not on a permanent basis though, even the article doesn't push it too far.  But definitely don't pour the bleach down your nose or anything like that, because then you'd really be asking for trouble.  Also, try to avoid head injuries, nasal polyps, diabetes, pregnancy, vitamin deficiency, tooth infections, nerve disorders and getting older.  Although granted, avoiding the last one may prove tricky in the long run.  All of these can have a negative affect on your shnozzle powers too - not to worry you or anything.  The last thing the Daily Mail wants to do is to alarm anyone unnecessarily...


Source:  Daily Mail

Junk Food = Junk Sperm

Food preceded by the word 'junk' can be relied upon to be pretty unhealthy.  You would - quite rightly - assume that it is bad for you in a number of different ways.  As such, it will come as little surprise to discover that stuffing your face with McBurgers will not result in lovely shiny new sperm.  The burgers and chips and takeaways will in fact lower your sperm count.  So eat fish if you want more sperm.  If you're not worried either way, then phone up some food people and when they deliver, just pour some melted cheese over whatever turns up in the little plastic tray.


Source:  Daily Mirror

Maybe Vitamins Aren't Good For You(?)

 The article I took this from was 'in conversation' with a Dietician.  Now of course Dietician is not a proper job title, ranking instead alongside such path-breakers as Feng-Shui advisors, Interior Designers, Life Planners and Psychotherapists as first ones to be chucked off the life raft in emergency situations.  Or possibly eaten.  Anyway, this dietician is loathe to give any concrete answers to questions rather than intimating that, yes, too much of certain types of vitamins may pose minor health risks to certain people.  And don't rely on multivitamin pills because we are all special little snowflakes with different vitamin requirements.  She concludes with the revelatory news that it's a good idea to follow a healthy and balanced diet incorporating fruits and vegetables!  "We are capable of healing in a natural way", she says, (in my mind she's probably making some earnest hand-cupping gesture as she says this, head tilted to one side), "if we give our body what it needs to heal".   


I have nothing more to add.




Source:  Dallas Morning News

Ukranian Tick Alert

Apparently there are some microscopic organisms infected with encephalitis in the general area of Ukraine and these may (or may not) tend towards the groin area...
Look: let's be honest here.  There is a football competition on in Ukraine and Poland this year, and the Daily Mail has jumped at the chance to use the expression 'watch your tackle'.  They have even gone so far as to suggest that "England and Ireland football supporters have been warned to 'watch their tackle' in this summer's Euros..." I will tell you now that Nobody Anywhere in the wide world has issued a statement suggesting that football fans 'watch their tackle'.  And to be frank, it really isn't even a half-decent link to football in the first place, not to mention that "Watch your tackle!" is not a phrase heard on a football pitch, except in the mind of the nerdish individual who came up with this shoddy piece.  Disappointing journalism really, from what is normally such a high-minded publication.

Source:  Daily Mail

Cereal Bars. Nope.

What could possibly be the harm in these awful-looking, dried-out, knobbly slabs of squashed grains.  Surely these things must be good for your health, at least.  Surely.
No, of course they aren't good for you.  Cereal bars have too much sugar in them, or else a lot of fats, or else both.  Whereas milk can 'wash away' sugar (just how scientific was this study...), in cereal bar form you are choking down every last molecule.  How can you even bear to look at yourself in the mirror?  You disgust me, wolfing down Mars Tracker Banana Bars like a wild animal.


Source:  BBC website

Women of a Certain Age - Fear the Cakes

A new 'eating fatty foods is bad for you' study has emerged from the United States.  Thank Goodness!  This one is aimed squarely at post-menopausal women, this particular demographic perhaps having been neglected somewhat in the past.  Well anyway, cakes and fried foods are bad for you lot as well, just in case you thought you had some sort of immunity.  Sorry.  Stuffing your faces with trans-fats is not going to do much for your prospects of finishing that marathon, hot flushes or no.  The University of North Carolina School of Public Health has done a Study, so you know it's true.  Those guys don't mess around.


Source:  Times of Malta

Fast Food Makes You Sad

If you fill your face with hamburgers, hotdogs and and pizza all the time, it's not going to do you any good.   According to Research, you are probably also a single smoker who works a lot and then goes home and sits on the couch feeling depressed.  Now this seems like a bit of a chicken and egg situation here.  Which came first, the low paying job with long hours and no exercise, or the fast food?  The being single, or the fast food?  But as usual this type of Research can be twisted around to suit whichever media corporation is publishing it, hence fast food = depression.


Source:  Irish Independent