Lazy Weekends

Have you ever heard the phrase "social jetlag" before?  No, me neither.

It means you sleep longer on days when you're not working, and this, like many other things, is bad for you.

Kiwi scientists believe that lazy weekend lie-ins mess with your metabolism and lead to obesity and 'other chronic disorders'.  It is difficult to find something which does not lead to obesity these days, it seems.

Well these bright Kiwis have even put cold hard numbers to this theory, suggesting that for every 2 hours of sleep over what you would normally have, you are liable to put on about 2.5 kilos.  I am guessing this takes place over the long term rather than overnight, as that would be kind of bizarre.

Keep that alarm clock set for Saturdays and Sundays if you know what's good for you!
 
 

Bugs Bunny Lied to Us

So it seems that while carrots are generally pretty good for you and all, they really are not going to do much to improve your eyesight.

Turns out that the whole 'carrots improve your vision' was a propaganda exercise used by the British during WW2 so that they wouldn't reveal the fact that their planes were fitted with radar.

Let's face it though, if you actually believed that eating enough carrots would allow you to bin your bifocals, then this article probably isn't going to convince you otherwise.

Source:  USA Today
 

Cider: It's Basically Just a Better Version of Apple Juice

Scientists from the world-renowned 'Brewing Research International' in Surrey have recently stated that cider is good for your health, as it is brimming over with antioxidants.  And everyone knows that antioxidants are good, even though nobody knows what antioxidants are exactly.

Doctor Walker says 'a glass of cider a day will keep the doctor away' (although she does preface that with 'it could well be claimed')

Regardless, the point is that cider is great and...

...what do you mean you're not sure if you trust the research of scientists from Brewing Research International?  Don't be so suspicious.

Anyway if you need more proof, here's a quote from John Thatcher (National Association of Cider Makers):  'I have spent a lifetime making cider... and now I can enjoy it all the more knowing that it is helping to keep me healthy.'

Case closed. 

Source: Daily Mail  

It's Bad for you NOT to Drink a Bottle of Wine a Day. Listen to the Doctor!

 A former WHO alcohol expert claims that knocking back a bottle of wine won't do you any harm at all.  In fact he goes on to say that after spending his life studying the effects of alcohol consumption, he reckons you will be healthier as a drinker than a teetotaler.

Say no more doc, you had me at "evidence shows moderate drinking is better than abstaining". 

Some busybody from a healthy living think tank responds that "this is an unhelpful contribution to... blah-blah-blah Something-Something I'm not listening"

Now where is that corkscrew?


Source:  UK Independent

Apples Are Bad For You. Apples!

Seems that modern apples are pumped full of sugar, and thus killer fruits. An apple a day will kill you, and so forth.  Only the Daily Mail could have come up with this one, so heartfelt thanks to those guys.

It appears that the 'modern apple' has 50% more sugar than the apple from the early 2000's.  And it is acidic, which the Mail has reliably extrapolated into dentist's having to yank out your teeth.

Seaweed Makes You Thin

Yes, eating disgusting sea-slime grass will make you thinner.  And not just because the taste discourages you from eating too much of it.  Apparently something called 'alginate' lowers the amount of fat being absorbed by the body. 

Superfoods as of now.

Here is a list of foods which have been upgraded from Regular to Super (as per webmd.com)

Note that this list almost certainly went out of date about 15 seconds after I finished writing it down.

Everything IS Bad For You! (I Suspected As Much)

To lay everyones mind to rest, the Daily Mail has helpfully produced a list of foodstuffs which will kill you.  Here they are:
-Everything which is baked, like crisps, cakes, chips and bread, for example

Caution!

-Red Meat.  Especially when processed into a delicious format such as burgers or hot-dogs
-Dairy foods.  Cows are bad news in general.
-Hot things, including tea and coffee.
-Alcohol - natch.
-Fat.
-Peanuts, cereals and grains. See?  Nothing is safe.
-Salt.  Which is in everything, including the stuff that wasn't mentioned elsewhere.

Basically, everything you eat is going to kill you, probably of cancer.  Thanks for that Daily Mail.

Bon Apetit!

Source:  Daily Mail

Drink Booze and you won't have (another) Heart Attack!

Now go easy, Tiger.  Slamming back tequilas the week after invasive surgery is not the way to go.  But this latest report from the European Society of Cardiology does say that 'moderate drinkers', who have had one heart attack and continue to drink in moderate fashion afterwards, have less chance of suffering a second attack.  Not you though ladies, this was a men only survey.  And 'moderate drinking' means two bottles of beer or glasses of wine per day, so step away from the 12 pack of Coors.

Source:  Irish Independent

Working Nights

Dracula?  Dead man walking.

It is not good to work nights, it makes you prone to so many diseases I can't even list them here without feeling mildly exhausted myself. 

Sleeping is a Good Thing humans, remember that.

Source:  Guardian

Low Fat Milk Makes You Fat (Obviously)

This will not come as a major surprise to those of us who have read countless similar articles about low fat soda.  Basically, the type of doctors who engage in these sorts of studies have found that kids who drink skimmed milk grow up chubbier than kids that stick to the full fat version.  Which isn't particularly fatty in the first place as it happens.  

Beer = Heart Medicine

I always like the ones where they point out the good in something that probably would only be obtainable on street corners had it been invented 10 years ago.  So yes, beer is good (again).   

This week.

The Greeks have come to this conclusion, Greeks at Harokopio University in Athens to be precise.  Conclusion being that beer is good for your blood vessels and can prevent heart disease.  Well, one beer can.  Far be it from my to cast aspersions on a study which espouses the benefits of alcohol, but to my untrained eye the sample size of 17 people seems a little on the low side.   Surely they could have wandered the streets of Athens and picked up a few more volunteers to drink some free beer?

But hey, let's go with it.  Beer is good for you!


Daily Mail

Smoking Cigarettes: Good (!?)

Researchers at the University of Florida have come up with a surprising Good News story for smokers.  Smoking cigarettes improves self-control, they have decided.   The people they tested were all smokers, of course, so perhaps this story is not quite as positive as it may seem.  People who really, really like cigarettes and who feel a little stressed after prolonged periods of no cigarettes, are then seen to demonstrate improved self-control after smoking a cigarette.

Nice try University of Florida, but back to the drawing board please.

Source:  Times of India

LSD Helps Alcoholism

Of course it does.  It's the perfect solution!  It's the good folks at Harvard who have come up with this little beauty, based on previous studies carried out in the (*sigh*) sixties and seventies, would you believe.  Should I even keep going with this?  Ridiculous...  Anyway, patients were fed LSD and allegedly began to confront their problems in a clear-eyed and realistic way, and...  look this method isn't going to catch on, is it.

Back to the drawing board Harvard chaps.

Source:  Independent (UK) 

Seems Like Red Bull May Not be a Health Drink

The most surprising thing about this article for me was that up until very recently, drinks like Red Bull and Monster had been classified as 'natural health products', rather than the 'aggressive vodka mixers' I had always considered them to be.  Well Canada has now got wise to these energy drinks, after a report revealed that none of them do a goddam thing for you, except getting you wired on caffeine extract.  

I was interested to hear about a Japanese study from the 1970's - the only one to come up with something good to say about energy drinks - which noted the increased swimming ability of rats injected with a glucose compound commonly used in the stuff.   Not quite enough to sway the argument, sadly.


Source:  The Star (Canada)

New Study Reveals Guaranteed Weight Loss Secret

So don't keep us in suspense, Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Centre, what is this miraculous solution to the age old problem?

    "Exercise and diet".

Congratulations gentlemen, you have done your nation a great service with this new Research.  Humankind will look back on this moment with gratitude.  Exercise and diet, eh?  Fascinating...

Source:  Los Angeles Times

Drinking Red Wine is Exactly Like Exercising

The Mayo clinic recently performed a Study where they hung up some rats by their back legs & then injected them with stuff to see what would happen.  Some of the stuff was stuff you can find in red wine, other stuff was not.  The rats given the red wine stuff did better out of the deal.  It was as if they'd been exercising instead of having been clamped by a bunch of scientist types.  Hence the optimistic claim in the news feed below that red wine is 'exercise in a bottle'.  Wow - what a world that would be!  I think we all want this to be true whilst knowing full well that it isn't.  I don't care how buff the wine ingredient drinking rats were, sitting on my sofa guzzling Merlot is just not going to give me those defined abs I'm after.

Source:  CBS News

Marathons: Stop after 50 minutes.

Welcome news for those of us who would rather eat their own ear  than run for an eye-watering 42 kilometres:  Marathons are bad for your health.  That's what US journal 'Heart' has decided at any rate, and it makes a certain amount of sense.  One or two is alright, they say, but don't overdo it.  Duly noted.  According to these fellows, 50 minutes is the maximum amount of exercise you should do in one day, which were this advice to be followed to the letter would result in extremely unsatisfying conclusions to football matches around the world.  

The good doctors end with one of the feeblest pieces of prose ever committed to print, which I shall of course regurgitate here: "running too far, too fast, and for too many years may speed one's progress to towards the finishing line of life".  
I couldn't have put it worse.


Source:  Independent (UK)

Eating Cake for Breakfast Will Make You Thin

Tel Aviv university have come up with this cake-lovers dream diet.  Their experiment consisted of getting a load of fat people and putting them on strict low calorie diets.  Except one group was allowed to pig out on a big breakfast with dessert as part of their calorie allowance, while the other (less fortunate) bunch poked unenthusiastically at porridge and diet yogurt.  I like to picture them all sitting at one big table, split down the middle, with the cake-eaters slowly licking their spoons as they stare unswervingly at their fruit salad munching counterpart.  Well the cake eaters lost more weight at the end of it all, thus allowing fat people everywhere to justify eating Black Forest Gateaux with whipped cream at 7.45 in the morning.  Hurrah!

Source:  Canberra Times

Popcorn: Better That Fruit (not really, but very good anyway)

Popcorn is 'the king' of snacks states a rather casually phrased report from the American Chemical Society meeting in California.  It's a big ball of grain, and has more antioxidants than some fruits and vegetables.  But don't just replace fruit and vegetables with popcorn, as this will not work out well in the long run.  Do replace potato chips and nachos and giant boxes of chocolate with popcorn.  Antioxidants are good for killing viruses in the blood and preventing certain cancers.  This article also claims that they fight aging, but prefaces this remark with the dubious sounding: "people say..".

Well these people say that you should eat more popcorn.

Source:  Toronto Star