Don't worry about all that negative stuff you hear about red meat - stuff and nonsense! In fact, if you are a woman and you are eating steak for lunch you will find that the birds start singing, the skies seem brighter, and you will be whistling a merry tune. Because this study says that red meat eating Aussie sheilas benefit from improved mental health and reduced levels of depression. Bring that cow over here! Forget that vegetarian rubbish, and smile.
If you eat even small quantities of processed meat - like those delicious sausages and bacon strips you like - you will probably die earlier than you otherwise would have. That's what a Study from Harvard has deduced, and everyone knows that people from Harvard are very, very clever indeed. Don't eat red meat. Try to avoid it completely, or else make it an 'occasional part of your diet'. In fact if you replace the red meat you currently stuff your fat face with with whole-grains or something similar, you will live longer. Some may wonder what type of a barren existence this would be, but there it is.
The Harvard folk say that if we persist in our processed red meat eating, we are 21% more likely to get heart disease and 10% more likely to get cancer. Suspiciously precise figures which have nevertheless been repeated unquestioningly by the hundreds of newspapers worldwide which 'covered' this story. 'Covered' as in 'regurgitated'. By the way, if I am not to die of heart disease or cancer - how exactly am I going to go? Duck hunting accident? Tragi-comic piano crushing from above? Maybe the Harvard guys know.
Harvard.
Source: Irish Independent (& every other paper in the world)
